Rasul Kireev

Indiehacker. Aspiring Data Scientist. Love to try new things. I also write occasionally.

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Fear and Blogging


Fear. I hate it so much! I think I have spent a better part of my life in a constant fear of something. When I was a kid a fear was something more real, like being screamed at by parents or spiders, something that is entirely possible. As an adult, I am scared of such stupid things that I am now embarrassed to talk about them, but here I am.

I am currently in the process of becoming. I have recently graduated, decided to switch career path and am still unsure where will life lead me. I am still trying to find things I enjoy doing the most. The biggest issue for me now is how much I earn, I do not think it is enough to support 2 people. My point here is that I am still very early in my journey of life and the world is an exciting place to be right now. There are so many opportunities, so many things and places to see and experience, but I spend a large amount of time worrying (I have a feeling that I am not alone in this).

I want to give a quick example that has been on my mind for a while. Since I have started my internship as an Actuary I decided to switch careers, since I am not doing a good job of passing the exams. During the last months of my undergraduate degree I have been trying to find a good job and I failed miserably! I realized that sending resumes online is not enough, which is why I have spent the last couple of months, making my own website, updating the resume, cold messaging people on LinkedIn and learning a wide variety of topics, all to increase the chance of success. The thing I have not been doing is the most important one.

I need to showcase my work and tell people about it. The best way to do this is by writing about it. In essence, I am talking about blogging. I know I have to make something and talk about it to show potential employers that I am knowledgeable and can be trusted with the work. I knew this for a while, but fear stopped me from blogging, it stopped me from writing. Coming back to stupid fears, one of the biggest ones for me is to be laughed at by people reading this. I have been also putting this writing thing aside, because I wanted to write about different topics and was worried people will be confused about the variety of topics and will just laugh at me (I guess being laughed at is one of my biggest fears, especially if the thing that I am laughed at is something I am passionate about or tried really hard to do). I want to write about different things, I want to tell people what I am up too. I want to seem knowledgeable and trustworthy. Fear is stopping me from achieving this (as well as Resistance, which is a whole different topic).

This is my attempt to break the chain of fear and star the journey of a fearful man, who will do as his heart desire, without worrying about other people and their desire to laugh at me. Only by doing things will I learn to do them better. I expect this to be considered poorly written, which is fine, I promise to continue on this journey and improve. These are just my thoughts, they might be poorly structured or all over the place, but it is how I currently think and currently write (honestly, I am not entirely sure, all of this makes any sense).

If you have any thoughts or comments about this, please contact me via one of the social network on left. I would love to hear some feedback, negative and positive, as long as it is constructive

If you have any thoughts, please leave a reply


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